Toasted Rant #1: Funny New Eating Disorder

Interesting Topic: PAY ATTENTION

So I'm driving down my street to pick up some Layne's (Layne's is a restaurant that serves the best chicken fingers in the history of the universe) and I said to myself, "Hey ToastyToast, why not listen to the radio and see whats going on with the world around you."

This was a great idea, and I happily tuned to one of the many quality stations that my city has to offer. I finally reach some station that was talking about issues with teens with eating disorders. I happily listened and jested because I find eating disorders hilarious (sue me).

The radio man talks about anorexia, Bulimia, and overeating. "Blah Blah Blah, nothing new," I said to myself. BUT THEN!!!

The radio host started talking about this new and upcoming "disease,"

My eyes DILATED, my mouth turned into an enourmous grin, I was shaking in delight at the thought of a new disease that I could find humor in.

Then the radio host said it,

I let out a loud howl!!! And I began laughing like a hyena!!!

DRUNKOREXIA!!!! LMAO LMAO LMAO ROFL ROFL ROFL LMFAO!!!


Well there you have it, the new and upcoming desiease "Drunkorexia," seriously WTF

where is society going with this shit, it was never a serious matter when people started throwing up or not eating to stay "skinny." But shit man, calling throwing up a disease is a little bit too much. Throwing up is a reflex and response to outside stimulus like a finger in the throat. Throwing up is a bodily function that is useful for humans to expunge poisons or other malicious items. Calling it a disease just tickles my pickle.

And when people don't eat, well shit... you have issues. It's not a disease, its a mental issue.

A disease is a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body.
People who throw up and not eat will become diseased because of their malnutrition, but saying that the initial onset is a disease is unacceptable to me. I'm SORRY BUT NO!!!


Well, anyways before I rant more about such conditions. Lets talk about!: DRUNKOREXIA!! WOO!

Drunkorexia is self-imposed starvation or bingeing and purging, combined with alcohol abuse.

seriously............. pretty sad don't you think?

"Among those who are described as drunkorexics are college-age binge drinkers, typically women, who starve all day to offset the calories in the alcohol they consume. The term is also associated with serious eating disorders, particularly bulimia, which often involve behavior like bingeing on food — and alcohol — and then purging."

Statistics suggest that 30% of 18-24 year olds skip food in order to drink more.

Seriously? Whats wrong with society now. I used to think that it was ludicrous that people didn't eat, but now not eating in order to get super wasted is well.... beyond anything that seems resonable now. At the same time however, i'm not surprised; someone always finds a way to top anything and well here we go again. I wouldn't be surprised if the next craze is crackorexia where people don't eat and smoke crack all day. (You must realize that this is making me laugh to the point of severe abdominal pain, OH NO I HAVE A DISEASE PLZ HELP ME!! Laughing is giving me some sort of disease in my abs!!...)

All I know is that this just makes me angrier at society.

Alas, its whatevs, nothing will change anyway.

With a final note, I leave a message to all of those people suffering from these "diseases."

Girl who doesn't eat, go to FOGO DE CHAO and stuff yourself silly. What the media says doesn't matter, you are beautiful for who you are, and you should be happy being yourself. Everyone is amazing in their own way, and happiness comes to those that are optimistic and feel good about themselves.

For the people that are drinking, DUDE!! Eat something, getting drunk is awesome sometimes, but too much alcohol in the system can kill you!!! I mean eat something anything, and if you just want to get wasted drink jello shots or something. They get the job done quick!! Plus you can later go on a food run when you get the drunk munchies, because everyone knows that food tastes so much better! So eat PLZ!! And when you're done drinking take some tums to lose the drunkeness quicker, I know this because of my friend peterkid, god bless his alcoholic soul.

With that, I'm out

-ToastyToast


EAT PEOPLE!!! (Don't eat humans but eat something)

Doppelganger

"Doppelganger" is German for "double walker" - a shadow self that is thought to accompany every person. Traditionally, it is said that only the owner of the doppelganger can see this phantom self, and that it can be a harbinger of death. To see ones doppelganger is considered to be an omen of death. Occasionally, however, a doppelganger can be seen by a person's friends or family, resulting in quite a bit of confusion.

How They Met Themselves by: Dante

In instances of bilocation, a person can either spontaneously or willingly project his or her double, known as a "wraith," to a remote location. This double is indistinguishable from the real person and can interact with others just as the real person would.

Real Life Instances:

There are many known recordings of such events happening, all one needs to do is look it up in order to read the accounts. My favorite however comes from my favorite artist: Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Amid all this pressure and confusion I could not forego seeing Frederica once more. Those were painful days, the memory of which has not remained with me. When I reached her my hand from my horse, the tears stood in her eyes; and I felt very uneasy. I now rode along the foot-path toward Drusenheim, and here one of the most singular forebodings took possession of me. I saw, not with the eyes of the body, but with those of the mind, my own figure coming toward me, on horseback, and on the same road, attired in a dress which I had never worn, — it was pike-gray, with somewhat of gold. As soon as I shook myself out of this dream, the figure had entirely disappeared. It is strange, however, that, eight years afterward, I found myself on the very road, to pay one more visit to Frederica, in the dress of which I had dreamed, and which I wore, not from choice, but by accident. However it may be with matters of this kind generally, this strange illusion in some measure calmed me at the moment of parting. The pain of quitting for ever noble Alsace, with all I had gained in it, was softened; and, having at last escaped the excitement of a farewell, I, on a peaceful and quiet journey, pretty well regained my self-possession.

Von Goethe saw himself riding toward himself on the road. He saw his doppelganger coming toward him as if to signal him that he would take the same rout sometime in the future.

This is just one of many accounts of Doppelganger sightings. I dare you right now, look it up and get informed. Who knows, perhaps you might learn something that intrigues you or more importantly learn about your own Doppelganger.

So who are these beings and entities? No one knows, I for one am convinced that perhaps such entities are astral projections of oneself by bending and manipulating the very sense of time and dimensions that govern this universe.

Whose to say that we won't be able to do this successfully in the future right? I mean we already have mastery of the 2nd dimension and the 3rd as well, whats so say that we won't be able to master the 4th or better yet the 11th. With the advent of high technological advances, the sky is the limit. For all we know, someones Doppelganger was manufactured in the future and sent back through time to visit and "replace" the certain person as a measure to prevent some future event to unfold. Many would consider this absurd and even a little bit nutty, but thats what ToastyToast does. I am a piece of burnt nutty toast.

I just hope that I'm not breaking from the norm too much, I would hate to see my blogs written by another imitation toast; and im pretty sure that many of you would not want that to happen.

So until next time

-ToastyToast

Next blog will cover the mysteries of the Hollow Earth Theory :)

Run Rabbit Run

Run rabbit run
dig that hole, forget the sun
and when at last the work is done
don't sit down, it's time to dig another one
for long you live and high you fly
but only if you ride the tide
and balanced on the biggest wave
you race towards an early grave

McGangbang

McGangbang

Concerned Parent: Hey ToastyToast, why don't you stop being a moron and stop posting things that are disgusting and disturbing. There is no such thing as a McGangbang!!!!


Sorry my friend, but the McGangbang is an item on McDonald's menu.

While it may not be accessible through the regular menu, many an employee can tell you that this off menu item exists and is actually quite scrumptious.

The McGangbang was created in Daytona A McGangbang is a sandwich creation that can only be found at McDonalds (originally started at Daytona Beach ISB McDonalds). It is a super sandwhich for hungry value menu customers. The McGangbang is a Double Cheeseburger (split in between the patties) with a Spicy McChicken Patty. While many will seem to be repulsed by the idea of eating a 'Gangbang,' it is rather good.

So Go to your nearest McDonalds and get yourself a McGangbang soon, and enjoy the multiple orgasms in your mouth!!!


Until Next Time:
-ToastyToast

A Link to the Cosmos

Déjà vu:
the experience of feeling sure that one has witnessed or experienced a new situation previously (an individual feels as though an event has already happened or has happened in the near past).

Countless have experienced this phenomena, but many have been unable to explain it. So why do so many have these experiences? And why doesn't science do more to try and explain the phenomena. Never-fear for I have found an answer, but be wary as many will not agree with what I think might be the explanation.

On one of my many ventures for knowledge, I decided to answer this question and take it upon myself to explain what humans have experienced for Millenia. The Oracle at Delphi, Mystic Shamans, Pagan Druids, Merlin, Nostradamus, and even Edgar Cayce in our modern era show that precognition is still preeminent in this world. The ability to see into the future in order to alter ones fate has been sought for by many for as long as humans have existed. Boy I sure wish I should of chosen answer A instead of answer B on my test, or I should not have eaten that orange because now I have diarrhea. People regret the actions that they have taken, and many with that they would of taken a different course of action in order to get to an end with more utility in their lives. Precognition thus offers an ability to fore go the problems with choices with the ability to know the consequence of each separate action. It is thus that human beings are able to cope with their existence due to the ability to change their fate.

DeJa Vu though is such an interpretation of peoples ability to choose their fate. Many won't recall their experiences until the moment the dream is recalled, but there are some that can recall these memories and able to a further extent decipher their meanings. Such are these people that are called prophets, shamans, and mystics in our lives. Where does this power come from though? Is it an ingrained ability passed through our genetic structure? Or does it come from a greater power (God) that wants us to know the consequence of such an action? Since humanity isn't advanced enough to know either or comprehend either entity; we thus sit in a standstill.

There is an answer though that uses a combination of both. A higher being or power is needed in order to bestow this gift whether it be the gods of old (Greek, druid, pagan, etc.) or in our modern day to what we attribute to God (Christian, Muslim, Jewish). A higher power is needed in order to attain a certain point of enlightenment that one an only achieve through the perfection of the self in order to be in sync with life and with God. Buddhism teaches us this by constant meditation in order to achieve a higher sense of self, which I believe is needed in order to attain this higher sense of being in which one is in sync with a higher power and thus given the secret knowledge that many civilizations have been in search for. It is possible to reach this form of higher sense as we have seen successful prophets foretell future events with accuracy (Nostradamus and Edgar Cayce to list my favorites).

Most people however are never able to achieve this higher sense of being and are only able to achieve this sort of spiritual sync with the unknown at certain parts of their lives and for only brief moments. This sync is vague but still present as a form of sign to tell you that even you are able to achieve this status of enlightenment. How one reaches this position is unknown as I know not a single person that has been unable to achieve this. Jesus is probably the best example of enlightenment. With his knowledge of this secret wisdom he was able to manipulate matter and the very fabric of time to his will. Am I saying that we can become gods ourselves? No, I am not stating this (Not Mormon LOL). I am trying to say that we are not capable of understanding this secret wisdom, but only understand portions of it enough to be able to foresee and have a greater understanding for life and the life after death. Death is the ultimate point in ones life, as it ultimately leads to the perfect synchronization with god and his secret knowledge. That is why many say that attaining heaven is the ultimate pleasure. Heaven however is to what I believe to be a synchronization with God (his mind), and the commencement of the understanding of his omnipotence. That is what I believe is the ultimate satisfaction.

Deja vu however shows us that we have the capability to understand the understandable and serves as a bridge but most importantly as a sign on the road that tells us

Enlightenment: This way

5 miles

Until Next Time:

-ToastyToast