Toasted Rant #1: Funny New Eating Disorder

Interesting Topic: PAY ATTENTION

So I'm driving down my street to pick up some Layne's (Layne's is a restaurant that serves the best chicken fingers in the history of the universe) and I said to myself, "Hey ToastyToast, why not listen to the radio and see whats going on with the world around you."

This was a great idea, and I happily tuned to one of the many quality stations that my city has to offer. I finally reach some station that was talking about issues with teens with eating disorders. I happily listened and jested because I find eating disorders hilarious (sue me).

The radio man talks about anorexia, Bulimia, and overeating. "Blah Blah Blah, nothing new," I said to myself. BUT THEN!!!

The radio host started talking about this new and upcoming "disease,"

My eyes DILATED, my mouth turned into an enourmous grin, I was shaking in delight at the thought of a new disease that I could find humor in.

Then the radio host said it,

I let out a loud howl!!! And I began laughing like a hyena!!!

DRUNKOREXIA!!!! LMAO LMAO LMAO ROFL ROFL ROFL LMFAO!!!


Well there you have it, the new and upcoming desiease "Drunkorexia," seriously WTF

where is society going with this shit, it was never a serious matter when people started throwing up or not eating to stay "skinny." But shit man, calling throwing up a disease is a little bit too much. Throwing up is a reflex and response to outside stimulus like a finger in the throat. Throwing up is a bodily function that is useful for humans to expunge poisons or other malicious items. Calling it a disease just tickles my pickle.

And when people don't eat, well shit... you have issues. It's not a disease, its a mental issue.

A disease is a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body.
People who throw up and not eat will become diseased because of their malnutrition, but saying that the initial onset is a disease is unacceptable to me. I'm SORRY BUT NO!!!


Well, anyways before I rant more about such conditions. Lets talk about!: DRUNKOREXIA!! WOO!

Drunkorexia is self-imposed starvation or bingeing and purging, combined with alcohol abuse.

seriously............. pretty sad don't you think?

"Among those who are described as drunkorexics are college-age binge drinkers, typically women, who starve all day to offset the calories in the alcohol they consume. The term is also associated with serious eating disorders, particularly bulimia, which often involve behavior like bingeing on food — and alcohol — and then purging."

Statistics suggest that 30% of 18-24 year olds skip food in order to drink more.

Seriously? Whats wrong with society now. I used to think that it was ludicrous that people didn't eat, but now not eating in order to get super wasted is well.... beyond anything that seems resonable now. At the same time however, i'm not surprised; someone always finds a way to top anything and well here we go again. I wouldn't be surprised if the next craze is crackorexia where people don't eat and smoke crack all day. (You must realize that this is making me laugh to the point of severe abdominal pain, OH NO I HAVE A DISEASE PLZ HELP ME!! Laughing is giving me some sort of disease in my abs!!...)

All I know is that this just makes me angrier at society.

Alas, its whatevs, nothing will change anyway.

With a final note, I leave a message to all of those people suffering from these "diseases."

Girl who doesn't eat, go to FOGO DE CHAO and stuff yourself silly. What the media says doesn't matter, you are beautiful for who you are, and you should be happy being yourself. Everyone is amazing in their own way, and happiness comes to those that are optimistic and feel good about themselves.

For the people that are drinking, DUDE!! Eat something, getting drunk is awesome sometimes, but too much alcohol in the system can kill you!!! I mean eat something anything, and if you just want to get wasted drink jello shots or something. They get the job done quick!! Plus you can later go on a food run when you get the drunk munchies, because everyone knows that food tastes so much better! So eat PLZ!! And when you're done drinking take some tums to lose the drunkeness quicker, I know this because of my friend peterkid, god bless his alcoholic soul.

With that, I'm out

-ToastyToast


EAT PEOPLE!!! (Don't eat humans but eat something)